The seven years following the devastating events of Sept. 11, 2001 have been long, difficult ones for me, filled with different stages of grief and with learning how to go on in a world that still seems slightly askew. Having a personal relationship with the living God who has conquered death and sin was the anchor that allowed me to weather the storm.
I grew up right outside of New York City and it and its skyline are as much a part of me as the bones and tissues that knit together my framework. Two weeks after the tragedy, I returned there to spend some time trying to find normalcy and to take my children there so that they wouldn't be afraid to venture into Manhattan. First stop: the Empire State Building, a personal favorite of mine. A symbol to me all of my life of the city's greatness, romance ("An Affair to Remember" is one of my all-time favorites) and beauty, the 103-story deco building offers breathtaking views from its observatory. After seeing the still-smoking hole that was Ground Zero, we headed to our hotel and my heart cried out to the Lord. I needed to feel bottom in a sea of emotion and heartache.
The Lord answered. The view from our room was the Empire State Building. We'd chosen the hotel because of a discount rate, but the Lord knew I needed a few days of being able to gaze out at something I loved, something still standing amidst the chaos around it; something still alive with activity. It and 2 Corinthians 4:8 from The Message version of the bible ("We've been surrounded and battered by troubles, but we're not demoralized; we're not sure what to do, but we know that God knows what to do; we've been spiritually terrorized, but God hasn't left our side; we've been thrown down, but we haven't broken") were life-saving medicine.
A few weeks ago I realized that though it had taken almost seven years, I had worked my way through the desert of grief and was ready to visit Ground Zero and lay it to rest. I had business that took me into the city and I decided to stay over in a hotel not too far from the site so I could walk to wherever the construction would allow me to get closest and spend some time in prayer.
I checked into my room and found a pair of complimentary earplugs on the desk with an apologetic letter from hotel management explaining that I might be able to hear noise from nearby construction. I settled in and opened the drapes to find that my room directly overlooked the Ground Zero construction site. My heart was filled with gratitude to a loving God who knew just what I needed. I drank in the site, all of it in one sweeping panorama, devoid of debris and the center of new life and activity, and quenched a seven-year thirst. Foundations for new office buildings, a performing arts center, a transportation hub, a visitor's center and memorial were going in. The activity continued around the clock and I never once thought of using those earplugs. The sound was music; streams in the desert.
There is no pit so dark or black that God's light cannot shine through. There is no place so lost that we cannot be found because He is always right there with us to share the experience and lead us out.
"Sing praises to the LORD, enthroned in Zion; proclaim among the nations what he has done." (Psalm 9:11)
What a wonderously inspiring and honest post. After reading it, I was reminded of those words from an old song, "On Christ the solid rock I stand all other ground is sinking sand."
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